| Yesterday |
[Oct. 11th, 2008|11:20 am] |
Yesterday, I thought it best to speak to my animal guides. Ant, Wolf, Eagle, Frog, and Spider came to me and helped me clear my mind, restore my inner peace, and gain a fresh perspective on the recent situation that has been making me more than a little sad and angry. I've been left with an awareness that it is all a matter of perspective and perception.
First of all, it was revealed by Ant, who hung upside down from a branch above me, raised issues regarding negative energies, community and tribal law, but he also told me that some may think I am making mountains out of anthills too.
However, I cannot change what I feel. The Elephant that stood in the room could not be ignored, and to leave it there would impact upon my creativity. So I made a choice.
I don't think I have overreacted. My initial emotional reaction might have been a little too explosive, but the decision I made in the cold light of day, was not. It unfortunately, was made not because I wanted to, but because I had to. So no, no mountains out of anthills this time.
I was next visited by Eagle, who tried not to laugh as he too hung like a bat on the branch next to Ant. He told me that others think I'm a little too hard on myself at times, and that I needed to be kind, let myself heal, knowing they love me and that I am loved. I was reminded that in times like these that I need to love my self the same way I am loved by the Great Spirit.
Wolf wandered my way, looking a little askance at Eagle as he laughed softly to himself. I loved the fact that Eagle's energy was touched by smiles. He was not laughing at me, but reminding me that laughter and love are the best medicine. And wolf smiled also. I had been terrified to do this reading, after beating myself black and blue with a 'guilt' stick for days, I was sure I would be scolded and told that I was indeed thought to be arrogant by those around me, but my guides were surprisingly gentle with me this time around. I guess they knew I had already punished myself far more harshly than they ever would.
Wolf asked me not to withdraw, to not fall back into the shadows. He reminded me that the people around me have much to teach me, and I to teach them. We learn from each other, when we embrace our community. We share insights, thoughts, feelings, opinions, beliefs, our creativity, our magicks, and when we share, we teach, we learn. I had wondered if it were time for me to go, out of fear that I was being weighed and judged harshly by others, but these things are just sent to remind me to be cautious of becoming what they claim. I know I am capable of arrogance, but I also watch for it, and for the most part, because I watch for it, I keep it in check.
And when Spider came along and wove a web of magicks around Ant and Eagle, joining in their laughter, before dropping down to sit upon Wolf's nose, I knew that I had indeed been a little too hard on myself, allowing one or two people's perception of me to make me think that everyone thought of me that way. In essense, I have allowed my own fears to entangle me, and prevent me from doing what I am meant to be doing ... creating, living, loving.
Finally, frog came by to tell me to laugh, to stop fussing and fretting, and to go bask and play in the sun for a while. Some of you think I take myself too seriously, yes? You know, I do need to remember to be silly, to laugh at myself, and just relax and trust in the magicks I have woven, and the Goddess who watches over me.
So yeah, I'm feeling a little more at peace today. I'm no longer acting as my own judge, jury, and excecutioner. Nor am I worried what one or two people think of me. As long as I know my intentions are pure, it matters not what other people think or believe, because, if my intentions are pure then I can walk tall and be proud of the fact that I am healed, confident, creative, and happy.
And the truth is, that if my intentions are pure, the majority of those who are part of my world will know, and will understand, and will not think less of me when I prove myself to be flawed and fallible. |
| |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
artoftheempath's journal
